Anonymous asked: Sucks doesn't it?

i’m over it, so no it doesn’t suck

it sucks for her since she lives in this world where i still want her.  sure the memories were great, but they’re only memories and sure i was happy, but i’ll learn to be happy again. it’s all a cycle at this point and i’m gonna be better again, without her help.

"Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reach out to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later."

Lauren Hooper (via fawun)

this one’s for you

(Source: laurenhooper, via zipped-up)


coltre:
I know we cannot be together. Like the moon and the sun cannot shine at the same time. So I made a deal with the sky. And if you look close enough, you will see me. The small, almost invisible moon in the afternoon sky. So far away. But still here. Looking at you with admiration. Even if you’re shining with someone else.

coltre:

I know we cannot be together. Like the moon and the sun cannot shine at the same time. So I made a deal with the sky. And if you look close enough, you will see me. The small, almost invisible moon in the afternoon sky. So far away. But still here. Looking at you with admiration. Even if you’re shining with someone else.

(via sadwallflower-s)

"She said, ‘I’m so afraid.’ And I said, ‘why?,’ and she said, ‘Because I’m so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening.’ I asked her why and she said, ‘They only let you be this happy if they’re preparing to take something from you.’"

— Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner (via fusels)

(Source: larmoyante, via whitegurllproblemz)

Vincent  van Gogh - From ‘Almond Blossoms’ Series (1888-1890)

(Source: antiqueart, via destiiiny)

chlorodream:

lady-of-redemption:

He did it. He actually managed to describe how it feels to live with depression and suicidal tendencies.

this is really, really important

(Source: cantcontrolthegay, via sydcheshirecat)

lnsanely:

She said things like: "When I met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real kiss. My first real boyfriend. My first fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he’ll always be in my heart. Forever. Kind of funny that word."  He responded with: ”I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself.” Or: “Believe me, this Winona Forever tattoo is not something I took lightly…Her eyes kill me”.

lnsanely:


She said things like: "When I met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real kiss. My first real boyfriend. My first fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he’ll always be in my heart. Forever. Kind of funny that word."  
He responded with: ”I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself.” Or: “Believe me, this Winona Forever tattoo is not something I took lightly…Her eyes kill me”.

(Source: amsoheavy, via metaphyscial)

heartrate:

i found my journal2013, july;"final entry,she is home.”2014, january;"i ripped these poems out as rough as you ripped me from your life, i fucking hate how you keep the stars glowing and the oxygen flowing, i did it without even flinching don’t you dare tell me you never felt anything, don’t you fucking dare, i loved you more than the sea loved the shore and you tore me away like a gorgeous fucking drought."

heartrate:

i found my journal

2013, july;
"final entry,
she is home.”

2014, january;
"i ripped these poems out as rough as you ripped me from your life, i fucking hate how you keep the stars glowing and the oxygen flowing, i did it without even flinching don’t you dare tell me you never felt anything, don’t you fucking dare, i loved you more than the sea loved the shore and you tore me away like a gorgeous fucking drought."

(via sadwallflower-s)